The categories I use are Gratitude Journal, Synchronicities and Connections, Frustrations, Special Moments, Positive Feedback and Clarity, and Cause and Effect. I am sure you will add your own, and I would love to hear what they are. These just happen to be the ones that resonate with me at this particular time. As always, please contact me if you would like a copy of my spreadsheet.
This is another spreadsheet I worked up because I thought it would be handy to have it on my desktop and whenever a random thought or insight popped up I would have a handy place to jot it down right then and there. Sometimes when I am web surfing and read an article it triggers memories and life lessons and rather than having small pieces of paper everywhere, it has become a centralized brain dump for me.
The categories I use are Gratitude Journal, Synchronicities and Connections, Frustrations, Special Moments, Positive Feedback and Clarity, and Cause and Effect. I am sure you will add your own, and I would love to hear what they are. These just happen to be the ones that resonate with me at this particular time. As always, please contact me if you would like a copy of my spreadsheet.
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After doing the 15 minute time grid <see my 12/22/10 post>, I wanted an easy way to summarize the information so I worked up a spreadsheet to figure out the percentages of time I spent doing each activity. There are 168 total hours in a week for us to use and I hope that those who chose to take an honest look at their lives got an eye opener. I know I did, although I suspected all along what my time wasters were and where my life was not as balanced as I like.
On the summary I broke it down further into weekdays and weekends since we spend time differently with each. The summary allows for us to check 4 weeks' activities so we can adjust as we see how we can improve the balance in our lives. Hopefully by the end of the month things will be more balanced for me ... it's hard not to implement some changes when it is staring at me so blatantly in living color. Let me know if you want a copy of the spreadsheet: marie@sublimeintention.com As I look back on the things I didn’t finish in 2010, I realize that most of them were waiting for perfection to strike. I have always wanted to incorporate everything I know into every project and that has stopped a few of them dead in their tracks. So this year I am re-training my brain to accept that it will never be perfect. As I complete something, there will always be ways I can improve it, and some of them I will learn as I put it out there as a kind of trial and error. For much of what I do, it will be perfect for those I might want to help or teach; or at least they can take away what parts work for them. Someone once said that to a 1st grader, a 2nd grader is all knowing. I am expecting it to be “right” according to my standards, but I have to accept that others might have never even thought of doing it that way so it is a new way of thinking or doing for them just as it is. After all, getting it done and out there is better than letting an idea just sit on my computer forever. What a novel concept!
Right now my mind is all over the place pulling me in different directions. I am looking around and seeing all the things I could be doing instead of sitting here writing this entry, but I know this is important in the overall scheme of my life. For the most part I live an organized and stress-free life, but every once in awhile my mind goes into overdrive. That’s when I forget even the simplest things if they are not written down. I have found that when that happens, it helps me to remember, write down, prioritize and process what needs to be done.
For my Monday Mastermind group, we are working on our overall goals for 2011, with the focus on January. There are steps to this process and I will break it down so I will be done by Monday. The steps include going over last year’s goals and either re-focusing on what’s important or letting what no longer matters go. Then I will also think of what I value in my life, and set up my new goals with those values in mind. At some point I will muscle test my goals before committing to them, which is something I did not do last year. Then I will make a workable plan, with baby steps along the way. Be more mindful: I used to pride myself on my multi-tasking abilities because I didn’t want anything to slip through the cracks. Now I simply focus on getting the most joy from what I am doing right now, at this moment which is very freeing. Concentrate on your breathing … have a mantra … don’t think about the past or worry about the future. Write Things Down and Sort Into Categories: Ideas: I am constantly bombarded with new ideas and I couldn’t possibly do them all, so I have learned to write them down so I don’t forget them, and then let them go. If they are important they will re-emerge and demand my further attention at the appropriate time. Sometimes ideas are offshoots of a main idea, so I try to categorize them accordingly. You can either use a journal, notebook or a file on your computer. I personally like using One Note on my computer. Things to Do: Have a master list and from this list break it down into monthly, weekly and daily “to do” lists. As you break it down, don’t schedule more than you can do. Many times I muscle test my “to do’s” because I trust my body and I know it doesn’t lie. It has my best interests at heart at all times. Maintenance: Lists of important information, address lists, cell phone numbers, purse/wallet contents, meal plans, etc … need to be updated with the most current information. Schedule a time either quarterly or at the very least yearly where you will commit to updating this information. It will make your lives much easier in case a disaster ever hits. Journal with free flow writing … recurring thoughts and themes happen because we don’t deal with them … many times we know the solutions but are in denial or keep trying to stuff the thoughts … try writing them down without judgment or censorship … include all the “I should haves” … your fears and worries … anything and everything that comes up … ask your inner self questions regarding these themes … you might be surprised at what you find out about yourself … this is especially helpful right before bed because your subconscious can work on the questions you asked during the night … let go of thoughts and ideas that no longer serve you … you can visualize them floating away from you or you can pop them like balloons for a more direct approach to releasing … whatever works for you … We all need some downtime for recharging. Some of my most productive ideas come when I am “mindlessly” surfing the net or playing card games on my computer. Many people feel guilty that these activities are time wasters but I don’t. Some would say I am rationalizing and making excuses for frittering away my life but I don’t agree. Maybe it’s because I don’t require much sleep so this is my way of going inward and processing; I don’t know but it seems to work for me.
Today a group of us went to a friend’s house and played games and had a potluck. We also did this over the New Year weekend. I have been known to go away for game marathon weekends to “play” all weekend long. I must admit to being somewhat competitive: I have mellowed from when I was younger and winning was everything. Now I consider playing games as a way to pass some time with friends who like to laugh. Do I still like to win? Yes! But it doesn’t mean I am better than or smarter than the others … maybe just a bit luckier if I do win. I notice that I might not be as sharp as I once was; the answers might get stuck on the tip of my tongue and never even emerge … but we sure laugh a lot! And with the right games … the answers might provoke some interesting discussions and we all learn a lot about each other. Maybe it’s just the sense of connectivity we all get. I remember when my kids were playing various sports at the YMCA when they were young. They never let them keep track of the score because playing wasn’t supposed to be about winning. This always annoyed me a bit because when the kids would score a basket they would always look up at the scoreboard to see it reflected up there, and you could see the disappointment on their faces when they realized it wasn’t there. It always seemed unnatural and pointless to me. But I digress … Sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to play and actually plan it in your lives. Take some time away from your expectations of yourself and the stress in your life and schedule it in your planner. Spend some time thinking about what you enjoy doing that makes you laugh. I find that even mundane activities are more fun when shared with friends. Be spontaneous: if it is snowing, go for a walk in the snow or go sledding with your kids. Walk in the woods and tip a branch on yourself and/or others just to have the avalanche of snow-laden boughs fall on you. Play in a pile of leaves in the fall or go for a swim in a roadside stream on a hot summer day. Be willing to let your inner child come out and guide you since you may have forgotten what makes you smile. Don’t put off having fun because you have a bunch of “to-do’s” on your list. Find a project or hobby that you enjoy, or take a class. Find others who share your interests … let them know yours. Have an e-mail of fun, like-minded friends who can broadcast to the group when they want to do something that’s fun to see if anyone else is interested in joining in. Many people stay home because they are lonely and would jump at the chance to have fun. You never know who … until you ask. Look in local papers for fun things to do. Life is truly about connecting with others and spending joyful time together, creating memories. Start a book club, join a mastermind group, go to the movies together, do some scrapbooking, join a tennis league, take belly dancing lessons, go out to eat, spend a night or weekend at a local spa … whatever puts a smile on your face. Laugh, have fun and be creative! Let me know your fun-loving thoughts … We are faced with so many choices on a daily basis and there are only 24 hours in a day. If we choose something new, then chances are we have to let something else go, so it is important to evaluate and weigh our options. Some good questions to ask yourself are:
· 1. Is this something I really want to do / enjoy / am passionate about … or am I doing it out of a sense of obligation or guilt? · 2. Is this activity in alignment with my values and current goals? · 3. Do I have time to do this or do I have to give up something in order to do it? · 4. Will this activity energize me or drain my energy? Decisions can be made more easily when we ask these questions before choosing to say yes. Sometimes the best decision is to say “I’m sorry … but that won’t work for me right now.” We were discussing “to do” lists in my Mastermind group this week and I was asked for clarification on what they were exactly. In my mind there is a difference between routines, “to do” lists and baby steps for projects and goals.
Routines are what we set up that ideally become habits in our daily lives to make them run more smoothly without having to even think about them. “To Do” lists usually consist of the urgent stuff with deadlines that needs to be taken care of. Don’t add lots of things to your list every day: only do a few things that you can realistically accomplish; spread out the rest for the rest of the week. Trust me when I say that it feels good to actually complete your “to do” list each day. You’ll be more focused and feel less guilty when you are more realistic about what you can accomplish … and, you will have some time left over to fit in the important things. Baby steps are the logical progression of what needs to be done in order to achieve our important goals and projects. Routines and "to do's" typically have a greater sense of urgency to get done which leaves little time in our busy lives to fit in the important things. I believe in balance which is why I recommend structuring “baby steps” in a way that we spend at least 15 minutes a day in each section of importance in our lives based on our values. Currently for my group these are broken down as: Fun / Relational Spiritual / Personal Growth Health / Diet / Exercise Financial / Career Organize / Other I urge everyone to spend some time reflecting on their values and then fit in 15 minutes a day in activities that make some forward movement toward achieving things in our lives that truly matter. Don’t obsess about how much time you think something will take … just focus on 15 minute chunks of time. Our subconscious mind does not know the difference between a little or a lot of time … it only recognizes progress, and when it realizes we are seriously pursuing our goals, it will stop blocking us and create more creative ways of achieving what we value in life. Have fun with this! Enough has always been one of my favorite words for some reason. The dictionary definition is: occuring in such quantity, quality or scope as to fully satisfy demands or needs. My problem with this definition is with the word "fully." Maybe a better word would be sufficiently or tolerably because the word "fully" is so relative.
Am I enough? Yes, I am enough. A good enough mother. A good enough friend. A good enough provider. A good enough person. Am I perfect? NO! Nor do I want to be ... I need something to laugh at as I make mistakes. And forgive myself. Over and over ... but I am better and better every day. Is there enough? Yes, there is enough. For everyone. So be generous. Give. Receive. It's all a dance and everyone benefits if we all get in the game. Do I have enough? Yes, I have enough. Probably more than enough. Maybe not always ... maybe not everything I want. But probably everything I need ... and needs change. So the question becomes: do I have enough to start ... or finish ... or simply maintain the status quo for now while I figure the rest of it out? And the answer is: Yes!!!!!!!! "In the absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it." Robert Heinlein, Novelist
This quote is so true because we are creatures of habit. We allow the urgent to run roughshod over the important. Sometimes we even welcome distractions so we don't have to deal with what we know we need to do to further our goals. It all seems so overwhelming at times. Today I finished putting away all of my Christmas decorations. I looked around at my living room and saw a few things that needed to be done. Instead of letting the "to do's" become clutter in my brain and allowing them to make me feel guilty if I don't take care of them right away, I decided to put a slip of paper for each one in my job jar and I will then get to them when I get to them. This way they won't slip through the cracks and I can empty my mind of one more piece of trivia. I was going to then walk through each room of my house and make a list of everything that needs to be done in each room and add them as well to the job jar but that would have distracted me from the other things I was going to do today. So instead, I put another slip of paper in my job jar: to walk through each room of my house and make a list of everything that needs to be done in each room and add them as well to the job jar on individual slips of paper. So simple and not stressful. It's all about taking baby steps ... we think of all the things we need to do or should do without realizing that everything will get done in its own time if we have a plan. My plan is to utilize my job jar this year and I think my job jar will be busy this year ... each day I will take out a slip of paper and spend 15 minutes working on whatever task I pick. I won't have time to dread doing it because it will be completely random. I know everything will get done ... eventually! I am a big fan of recycling items as we de-clutter and find we have an abundance of something and want to share it with a friend who might not have it. Because of our de-cluttering and simplification mindset we would probably not offer an item to someone who did not need it. However, beware the reverse action when friends offer items to you because they might not have the same mindset. Remember to ask yourself these questions before you automatically accept these offerings:
Do you really need it? Love it? Want it? Would spend money on it if you had to buy it yourself? Do you have to find a place for it? What are you willing to let go of in order to make room for it? Does it serve a purpose? Learn to say NO. Don’t be tempted just because it’s free: it will eat up your limited time and energy. If it becomes an emotional issue, then accept it and donate it to Goodwill rather than let it into your house. You’ll be glad you did. |
Website Creator: Marie RussellChoose simplicity! VALOR: visualize, ask, let go, Archives
February 2016
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