Put their name on a small piece of white paper in pencil. Put the piece of paper in a baggie and cover it with water. Put the cup in the freezer. This will literally "freeze" their emotions toward you and have them move on to someone else to engage with their negativity. Believe it or not, this really works! I tried it, and when I had not been affected for awhile, I took it out of the freezer and threw it away: within a few weeks, the annoyance was back. Easily solved: repeat the process and know that someday they will either find someone else to annoy or they will become enlightened themselves.
Coming Of Age Ritual
When my daughter turned 13, rather than just celebrating a typical birthday I wanted to create something for her to remember as a special salute to her for reaching a milestone she so desired. I think rituals add a richness to life; and even when your kids run screaming at your feeble attempts, you should not be dissuaded from doing what you feel might someday be considered special by them.
First we had a mother / daughter mani - pedi, and then shopped for ideas and materials to make our "spirit dolls." These are dolls made from simple materials that represent and celebrate who we truly are. You can make one for each facet of your personality and create a gallery that pays tribute to your soul's progression throughout life. They can either capture a moment in time, or help to create a dream or desire of who you want to become. She was resistant at first, but then really got into it.
We woke up at 5:00 am and drove to the highest point on the Blue Ridge Parkway <6000+ feet> to see the sunrise. It was cold but absolutely magnificent! Then we drank hot chocolate & had breakfast at the Pisgah Inn - what a view! Took lots of pictures; hiked and laughed a lot … hopefully made memories she will always look back upon and smile. Life is good! Now I just need to come up with something for this year's birthday ...
I have been thinking recently about why curiosity and learning are so important to me, and why I seem to be attracted to such a wide variety of topics. I think it has to do with the fact that we are already connected to source, so we essentially already know everything we need to know and learning is really just remembering what we forgot. If we resonate with a speaker, we are just tuning into a familiar frequency.
Books offer the same opportunity for learning. They are like gifts wrapped in pretty paper just waiting for us to take the time to open them. Currently I am reading about 10 books, and have been unable to finish any of them. It seems like I pick up on the frequencies of the book depending on what I need at the moment. I get attracted to a title or topic as something I need to learn when in reality it is probably something I already know since I resonate with it. If I am already familiar with it, then I can relate to it more from a heart based center rather than an ego based mind. Then I just integrate the frequency and attract what further reinforces the knowledge beyond the actual words.
What is my de-cluttering goal?
How do I want to feel after I accomplish this?
What is my worst de-cluttering problem area?
· meditate on emptiness, the fertile ground in which seeds take root
· write down new plans and ideas that present themselves and keep them in a moon journal
· symbolize completion and fulfillment, the realization of the seed, and they are times of celebration
· full moon journal tracks the gathering—the menu, the guest list, and any other observations you feel inspired to make
Parenting: Dealing with Mistakes
I was reflecting on parenting today and the frustration in dealing with our children’s mistakes. I always tell my kids to choose wisely. I teach them the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and accepting the consequences of their decisions. I remind them that making a mistake doesn’t make them a bad person; they just didn’t make the right choice that time. A decision that results in an unintended outcome is not a reflection of their character.
The focus then becomes what is the lesson learned, rather than placing blame either on themselves or others. They can’t let the shame or disappointment they may feel take over because who they are exists independently of their decision-making process. I ask them to reflect and understand <from a rational rather than emotional viewpoint> why they made the choice they did, forgive themselves, and then move forward. Hopefully next time they will use their intelligence and intuition to choose more mindfully. I guess this same process applies to me as well.
I have always been a logical person and very left-brained. However, as I skip merrily down the metaphysical <beyond the physical> path, I have become more right-brained in the process. I realize that in order to trust my heart and get out of my head I need to let go, surrender and trust the process. For a long time I have admired people who I considered intuitive, never believing that I possessed that quality myself. Now I know that when people considered me headstrong, impulsive and foolhardy I was really just following my intuition, based on a lifetime of accumulated wisdom and experiences. If you see a quality in someone else, they are simply being your mirror for a quality within yourself. It’s the old “if you spot it, you got it” idea.
We have to trust our inner knowing, rather than over thinking it. If you are in fear, you won’t be open to intuition because your intuition will never guide your fears. Intuition will only work if you are willing to accept what it tells you, so open your heart awareness. There are 4 basic steps: trust, ask, receive and act. Get grounded and centered; release limitations by deeply breathing in light and breathing out limitations <deep breathing engages the whole chakra system>. Set the intention: “I trust that I am aligned with what is for the highest and best good of all concerned.” Then ask <preferably out loud since it engages our senses> for answers that are relevant to the question. Then allow your body to feel your responses, and ask more questions if you need further clarification until your feel at peace. Responses can be in many forms: thoughts, dreams, memories, impressions, images, feelings, words, tastes, smells, and simply just knowing. Your intuition wants to empower you, make your more aware, and expand your consciousness. Then you can act out of love when you receive sudden bursts of insight, flashes of awareness, synchronicity, gut feelings or hunches.
Always look for the lesson <what feels true right now> when following your intuition and you can’t go wrong. Our intuition will always take us to the next experience and each experience is important. Remember: just because an experience was painful, doesn’t mean it was wrong.
Dark Night of the Soul
Everything that manifests in our lives is a choice we have made, and we need to take responsibility for that instead of feeling like a victim and blaming others. We need to look at how we feel and respond to a situation because the only things that affect us are the ones that we allow. It might take us multiple “dark nights” before we are at peace; each one will last differing amounts of time, depending on the person and ego resistance.
While on the path toward enlightenment, many experience the feeling of not fitting into their reality anymore. This suffering can be viewed as an initiation of sorts, where we feel abandoned, without light or hope, and profoundly alone. Usually if something upsets us, it is just a manifestation of fear <anger, grief, loneliness, sadness>, so courageously facing these illusions with perseverance and honesty is part of the process. We will question and doubt everything we thought we knew. We may feel as if we are losing our mind, yet we are still able to function in our current reality. We realize that nothing we have done in the past will get us to where we want to be; all the books and workshops we have attended have only offered glimpses of who we want to become.
The tug of war is between our old reality and that promised land of enlightenment, where one is no longer comfortable and the other seems unreachable. We see others who embody the values of love and generosity and gratitude and forgiveness that we seek to integrate, but it is so hard to shed the old ways of being. Everything seems so easy for them, yet so difficult for us. We are trying … which is part of the problem. There is no effort needed … instead of doing, we just need to be. We persist because we can't conceive of going back to the old way of life and those brief moments of peace keep us going. Once we begin this process, we must keep going or we may let fear prevent us from succeeding. We feel we would do anything to get out of this state, yet it is only our ego which is keeping us in it.
In order for our higher self to emerge, our ego has to be diffused. It has served well; we have survived. Throughout our lives, our ego was in charge; we gained a sense of self worth based on what the ego gathered from responses of other people, but it was a very limited sense of self. The ego believes it chooses what we think, how we feel and what we do. Even now, our ego thinks it is moving us down the path of higher consciousness.
There is nothing to be done but surrender; we have tried everything else. We realize we are different than who we thought we were. After our dark night, we are transformed from ignorance and fear into feeling free and joyful and directly connected to source. We are now a tabula rasa, and ready to create our vision.
If you ask me if I have conflict around the word "money" I would answer a somewhat adamant and defensive "no." Hmmm … there's a clue in my response that needs further examination. The enlightened path tells us that we cannot have a "lack" consciousness because the universe doesn't recognize lack or loss. We are told to "ask and you shall receive" and to change our perspective to one of positive expectancy and to ask questions like "what am I going to do with all of this abundance I have."
By saying "yes, but" you are essentially arguing with fate, destiny and anything else you want to add. When you are in the mindset of "Yes, but I don't have enough" you are just reinforcing not having enough. I know this from a deep soul level, and I suspect it is one of the lessons I am on the earth at this time to learn. I have always known about self-fulfilling prophecies, yet sometimes I still manifest what I don't want. It's a constant struggle against fear, especially in these challenging times.
Around the metaphysical community, many workshops are given and payment is expected in the form of a "love offering." There is a bit of confusion here because it almost feels like a demand when the "suggested love offering is $25" for example. On the other hand, when no amount is suggested, people are also confused and then it becomes a bit of peer pressure to leave what everyone else leaves out of a sense of obligation rather than gratitude. There are also those who feel charitable and donate accordingly out of a desire to support the presenter's good work which is wonderful as well.
I am confused by people who don't understand the concept of fair exchange for services. When someone does something for someone else, there needs to be an energy exchange. If I accept a service from someone that is "free," I still understand that it is a gift of their time, knowledge and expertise, whether they are charging for their service or not. When I leave a tip, a donation or small gift or token of some kind, it is in direct proportion to my gratitude for what I received from the person <the exact amount depends upon my current financial situation>. When I listen to my heart, it is a way of joyfully saying "thank you for your time."
If I choose to trade my services with those of another, that is a choice freely made -- whether the services are "equal" or not. By the same token, if I do something for someone I love, it is not with the expectation of getting something in return <except hopefully love and appreciation>. It is because I value them and am happy to have them in my life. Currently I find myself in the position of having given away my knowledge and services for so long for free, and I need to make changes in that perception. I have spent a lifetime of being an information gatherer and dispenser of wisdom, and I need to value that knowledge myself before I can expect others to do so. I guess that means that from now on, I will conduct my healing practice and workshops on a more fiscally sound basis in order to value my time and be fair to myself.
It was interesting to see after doing my values process how some of my values have morphed as I have become wiser. If you asked me 20 years ago, I would have had efficiency and accuracy and detail-oriented as some of my top values and virtues. My top 5 now are: time, authenticity, choice, joy and loyalty. And trust me, I did a lot of introspection to narrow it down to those 5. Of course, the top 3 manifestations for each category are: time <simplicity, systemization, effectiveness>, authenticity <awareness, self-realization, intuition>, choice <freedom, passion, balance>, joy <family/friends, health, nature> and loyalty <trust, quality time, reciprocity>. Money and security are goals, not values, and are nowhere near my top 10, so I have to figure out a way to resolve this. If you notice, neither is love, but I did the process and it is what it is: for me, loyalty is more important than love. What was funny, is that my group really didn't want to put the time in to do the process; some did, some did not. But after the meeting, those that didn't before now see the value <haha> of doing the value process and plan to do it this weekend. Values are what motivate us to action, so what are your top 5 values?
Website Creator: Marie Russell
Choose simplicity! VALOR: visualize, ask, let go,